This makes me so incredibly happy!
First, start with a fully up-to-date Ubuntu 16.04 LTS desktop.
sudo apt update sudo apt dist-upgrade -y
Then, install dconf-editor.
sudo apt install -y dconf-editor
Launch dconf-editor and find the "launcher" key and change it to "bottom".
For good measure, I triggered a reboot, to make sure my changes stuck. And voila! Beauty!