Warning: You'll find very little profanity on this blog. However, the filter is off for this post. Apologies in advance.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
|There was in fact never any smoke to clear.|
|20 years later, and the smartest company in the world|
creates a smoke detector that broadcasts the IoT equivalent
of PC LOAD LETTER to your smart home, mobile app, and email.
Michael Larabel of Phoronix recounts his similar experience here. He destroyed one with a sledgehammer, which might provide me with some catharsis when (not if, but when) this happens again.
|Michael Larabel of Phoronix destroyed his malfunctioning Nest Protect|
with a 20 lb sledgehammer, to silence the false alarm in the middle of the night
|You can't be serious...|
- Ship working firmware.
- Recall faulty hardware.
- Refund the product.
- January 2015: I installed 5 Nest Protects: one in each of two kids' rooms, the master bedroom, the hallway, and the kitchen/living room
- February 2015: While on a business trip to, South Africa, I received notification via email and the Nest App that there was a smoke emergency at my home, half a world away, with my family in bed for the night. My wife called me immediately -- in the middle of the night in Texas. My heart raced. She assured me it was a false alarm, and that she had two screaming kids awake from the noise. I filed a support ticket with Nest (ref:_00D40Mlt9._50040jgU8y:ref) and tried to assure my wife that it was just a glitch and that I'd fix it when I got home.
- May 23, 2015: We thought it was funny enough to post to Facebook, "When Nest mistakes a diaper change for a fire, that's one impressive poop, kiddo!" Not so funny now.
- May 2015: In the comments of the aforementioned Facebook post, I learned about this poor guy's all-too-familiar experience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpsMkLaEiOY
- August 9, 2015: I installed 2 more Nest Protects, in the guest bedroom and my office
- August 21, 2015, 11:26am: While on a flight home from another business, trip, I receive another set of daytime warnings about smoke in the house. Another false alarm.
- August 24, 2015, 12am: While asleep, I receive another 3 false alarms.
- August 25, 2015, 1am: Again, asleep, another false alarm. Different room, different unit. I'm fucking done with these.
Burning up but not on fire,
Update #1: I was contacted directly by email and over Twitter, by Nest's "Executive Relations", who offer to replace of all 7 of my "v1" Nest Protects with 7 new "v2" Nest Protects, at no charge. The new "v2" Protect reportedly has an improved design with better photoelectric detector that reduces false positives. I was initially inclined to try the new "v2" Protects, however, neither the mounting bracket nor the wiring harness are compatible from v1 to v2. So I would have to replace all of the brackets and redoing all of the wiring myself. I asked, but Nest would not cover the cost of a professional (re-)installation. At this point, as expressed my disappointment in this alternative, and I was offered a full refund, in 4-6 weeks time, after I return the 7 units. I've accepted this solution and will replace the Nest Protects with a simpler, more reliable traditional smoke detector.
Update #2: I suppose I should mention that I generally like my Nest Thermostat and (3) Dropcams. This blog post is really only complaining about the Titanic disaster that is the Nest Protect.